Understand that he doesn't care. If a man is in love with a woman, he pretends that he is indifferent to her. stage - hunting for attention

Why do men hide their feelings and feign complete indifference? Why do they always pretend to be tough guys and try to seem tougher than they really are?

It turned out that they behave this way because they feel that they have to do it, especially when dealing with women.

Women often wonder why men take so long to call. For example, a guy takes a girl’s phone number and only calls six days later. Then he asks her out and doesn’t call her for another five days. Meanwhile, the unfortunate girl scratches her head and asks herself: “What does this mean?”

Women often suppress men, so they use defensive tactics of waiting. At the beginning of a relationship, he calculates everything. A man wants to be rational, not emotional, because it is obvious to him that emotionality is a sign of weakness. On Tuesday he says to himself, "I think I'll call her on Thursday." Most men don't even realize that women would rather hear them call on Tuesday.

Why do men do this? They behave this way to “save face” and create the impression that they are in control of the situation. A nice guy named Steven amazed me with his wisdom. He said, “As long as you act calmly around a woman, as if you don’t care much about her, everything is fine. But as soon as you show that a woman is important to you, she immediately senses it and begins to treat you completely differently.” That's why men wait and don't call. They feel that women do not respect men who show weakness or vulnerability.

You should not take this behavior personally. Let the man not call for a day or two. Very often, when it seems to you that he does not care about you, in fact the man is giving you an implicit compliment: he wants you so much that he does not want to show it. Other times, men pull back on purpose to see your reaction. They want to know how important they are to you. If you don't believe me, read on. This is what these cunning devils came up with:

1. "Men want women to think they have a ton of girlfriends, when in fact this may not be the case at all. Men exaggerate. They think it will make them more attractive to women."

2. “Yes, men often pretend to be cool. They think that this will make them more attractive to women. I know some guys who date less than beautiful women just to make their real girlfriends nervous.”

3. “Men don’t want to admit that a woman controls them. It hurts them to think that a woman means so much to them. We don’t want to lose control over ourselves.”

Attractiveness principle:

At the beginning of a relationship, you should only pay attention to how often a man communicates with you, since he can hide his emotions for quite a long time.

4. “At the beginning of a relationship, I may not call a girl for quite a long time because I don’t want to seem too in love.”

5. "Men are just as emotional as women. They just don't show their feelings because society doesn't encourage them to do so. A man should always control himself."

6. “When a woman acts independent and calm, it scares a man. Women can crush men without even knowing it. What if she just walks away? It scares the living daylights out of a man.”

7. “If a man is really in love with a woman, he will do his best to pretend that he is indifferent to her. It’s rare that a man will fall to his knees in front of a woman and start crying.”

8. “Of course, men pretend to be cool... They want women to be more interested in them. We want to please women and don’t want to seem weak and in love with them. If you show a woman that you’re in love with her, she will immediately want to drive you under your thumb."

9. “Sometimes at the beginning of a relationship, a man pretends that a woman is indifferent to me. He doesn’t call for a long time to maintain her interest. No guy wants to seem madly in love.”

10. “A man is much more dependent sexually. A woman can control her sexual desires, but men have complete control over them.”

11. "Men behave in ways to attract women. Most men believe that women prefer tough, rude, 'bad' guys."

12. “If you show weakness, you will immediately take advantage of it. Some men believe that as soon as they open up, women will immediately use the information received against them.”

13. “If you let a woman know that you haven’t had a girlfriend in your life for a long time, she will get the impression that you are already desperate and ready to date anyone.”

14. “Women are in control of relationships because they can control their sexual desires. Women actually have much more power than they think. Many men feel like they are under the thumb of women.”

15. "When a man plays tough, he wants to impress a woman with his strength and energy. He's just trying to play by the rules. No man wants to be seen as a mama's boy and a weakling."

Attractiveness principle:

A man treats a woman in the same way as he treats other men. He plays the tough guy because he doesn't want to appear weak or desperate.

Girls often ask the question “What to do if a guy has lost interest?” and immediately rush into panic, without even figuring out what’s going on. In this case, psychologists advise taking a deep breath, calming down and thinking. It is advisable to do this not in a fit of anger, but with a fresh mind. First, figure out whether the situation is really that serious. Maybe he just couldn’t call one time or didn’t talk to you for as long as before? Did you come up with everything else yourself?

The main reasons why the guy lost his temper

Don't be upset, this happens often. Especially if the girl is not very confident in herself or values ​​relationships too much. In general, the reasons can be very different. Sometimes a person subconsciously feels changes in his attitude, but even to himself he cannot explain what exactly is going on. But there are several most common motives by which people move away from each other. So, let’s look into the reasons for the guy’s cooling towards you.

Long term relationship

The first reason why your boyfriend has cooled down is there may be a long-term relationship. Maybe everything has already become so familiar that you and he are just going with the flow? Psychologists note several relationship crises. In the first year, then at 4 years, at 7 years and, finally, at 20. In the first year of the relationship, the crisis comes as a result of the understanding that he has achieved you, you no longer need to make any efforts.

Women usually take this behavior on the part of men as a weakening of feelings, they begin to be offended, sulk and not talk. This is the most common mistake. All problems can be resolved through negotiations. If they prove unsuccessful, then there is a very effective method.

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What to do

We need to add zest, a new spark to the relationship before it’s too late.

• Show your other half that he's not the only one who pays attention to you. Smile and flirt with other young people. Your chosen one will feel the competition, will think, and his courtship will continue as before. However, don't go overboard with your efforts to induce jealousy. He may think that you are frivolous, this will cause a backlash.
• A good solution to this problem could be rest from each other. Let the guy miss you.
• In the meantime, don’t be upset and don’t tear your hair out about your not entirely successful relationship, but take care of yourself. Seeing from the outside how beautiful, good and desirable you are, he will understand his mistake and return on his own. All men are hunters.
• Create an image of inaccessibility, let him fight for you. Then you will see how he will be the first to come running to you, fearing that other hunters will take you away. The saying that a bird in the hand is better than a pie in the sky does not apply here. Be such a crane. And he himself will always strive for you. However, you should not try this method if you do not have decent endurance. After all, if you give up first, then there will be no effect.

  On the contrary, he will feel that you should chase him and will build an impregnable fortress of himself.

  Then all your efforts are in vain.

• If possible, find out from him what exactly he is not happy with in your sex life. Maybe he's tired of being at home on the couch at night? Give him sex early in the morning. Try to be more relaxed in bed.

Are there girls better than you?

Another reason why a guy might lose interest in you is is your appearance. Yes, yes, even at home you need to take care of yourself. He sees you in an old, stretched robe and without makeup or hair. And beautiful girls walk around. Of course, at home, maybe they look the same, maybe even worse, but guys on the street see them beautiful and well-groomed. It turns out that in comparison with them you lose.

What to do

• Get started meet him in beautiful clothes, with styled hair. You should look like you're going on a date.
• Try going to a solarium. Statistics show that men usually I like tanned girls better, rather than endowed with aristocratic pallor.
• You may look perfect, but you always look the same. Then it's time for a change. Start with your hair. Change their color radically. The main thing is don't be afraid. Even if the experiment fails, you will still receive more attention - he will begin to feel sorry for you. And then you can return to the original color. The main thing is that the goal has been achieved. A new haircut or style can also improve the situation.
• Now reconsider your wardrobe. It is also sometimes subject to change. Don't be afraid to buy more sexy and beautiful things. But here, too, a measure is needed. Make sure you have bright, interesting things. Try to wear shoes with heels more often - this way you look more attractive not only in the eyes of your chosen one, but also in the eyes of other men. And male attention is the best medicine in the fight against insecurity.

He's tired of sex with you

Yes, oddly enough, men get bored with sex. But only if it is monotonous. Girls don’t think about it; it seems to them that the more familiar, the better. This is a huge mistake on their part. Moreover, it is this mistake that pushes guys to cheat.

Necessary constantly color your sex life, introduce new elements and all sorts of things into it.

What to do

• Try to diversify your sex life together watching erotic films. Although it seems banal, it works one hundred percent.
• Go to a sex shop. Perhaps you will find something there that you both would like to try, but have not yet dared to try.
• Buy new sexy lingerie, beautiful stockings.
• Try new positions or different places to make love. Usually men prefer red or scarlet underwear. This color excites their consciousness and acts like a red rag on a bull.
• Most men love with their ears. Try making sounds during sex. Just don’t overdo it - don’t scream like a dolphin - your neighbors don’t care about details of your intimate life.
• Try role-playing games. At first, of course, it will be awkward, but then it will even be funny and exciting.
• And before such dizzying sex, give him romantic date with dinner. By the way, there are natural aphrodisiacs, for example, nuts and seafood, which increase people’s sexual attraction to each other. Prepare dishes with these ingredients. He won't be able to resist your charm. And then in the process you will show everything you are capable of.
• Don't forget about the intimate setting, candles and incense sticks with scents that awaken the senses.

This state - when he is bored next to you - is very clearly visible.

Your boyfriend is becoming more and more involved with everything but you. He plays on the computer, watches TV, talks for an hour with a friend whom he saw only yesterday.

I congratulate you, boredom has entered your life!

What to do

• Break the usual rhythm of life, plan less and do more. Take off together on a long-awaited trip, do something interesting.
• Maybe you both wanted to go diving? Now is the time to find such a joint hobby, which would unite you with him. The result will not take long to arrive. The new emotions that overwhelm both of you will give rise to a new interesting life, where there will be no room for doubts, but only love and attention to each other.

The main thing is don't be afraid to try something new. Even if the guy leaves, in the future you will need the acquired knowledge and skills in order to build a new life with the person who will love you more than anything in the world. He will certainly appreciate you for who you are.

The guy doesn't like your character

Be sure to reconsider your character. Perhaps you are too categorical in your assessment of your chosen one. Maybe he's having a hard time at work or just depressed? Help him in this state, and his attitude towards you will return to its previous level. And sometimes girls nag guys too much. Then their defensive reaction becomes “mental deafness”; they stop paying attention not only to barbs addressed to themselves, but also to everything that comes from your side in general, including positive aspects.

What to do

In this case, you will have to work for a long time to teach him to listen and hear you again. But first you will need to work on yourself. Then it will pay off a hundredfold - and you yourself will become better, and you will not miss your happiness.

However, before you start working on your relationship, think about whether the person is really worth it. Maybe you need to start a new life?

Of course, breaking a relationship is always easier than building new ones. But there are such people, they are simply not worth the effort and effort that their loved ones are ready to put in for them. The main thing is not to show how much you are ready to follow him to the last. As practice shows, if a girl runs after a guy, then his self-esteem grows from this. This is certainly not bad, but sometimes there comes a moment when a guy becomes just an arrogant egoist and he no longer cares about your feelings.

If you feel that all of the above is beyond your power and you cannot cope with it yourself, try going to a psychologist. He will help you understand yourself and explain your mistakes. If you can persuade the guy, you can visit a family psychologist. This will be even more productive since he will listen to both and see both sides of the coin. Then it will be easier to decide who is really right and who is wrong. Although, as wise people say, in a couple neither one is right, both are to blame. Only by realizing this fact will you be able to achieve positive dynamics in your relationship.

And all this time, do not lose your optimism. She helped you all these years, which means she will help you now. Remember that after the black stripe there is always a white one. Moreover, cheerful girls attract men much more than gloomy girls who always complain about life. This is the fate of old people, but while you are young, you can and should change your life yourself!
Now you know what to do if your boyfriend has grown cold!

Video: If a loved one has grown cold

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Very often you can find articles that list signs that a guy is showing sympathy for you. However, in this article I would like to touch on the opposite: signs that indicate that a guy does not love you and perhaps you should break up. If you encounter any of the following signs in your relationship, you may need to think about ending the relationship. After all, if there is no sympathy and people are indifferent to each other, then there is no point in continuing a relationship that has no future.

If you increasingly find yourself thinking, “My boyfriend doesn't love me...”, take a look at these signs. They will help you figure out whether he really likes you.

Signs that a guy doesn't like you

1. He is not “attracted” to you.. Perhaps one of the important signs. It is he who determines whether this is your young man. If you have not kindled the fire of love in his heart and the guy is indifferent, if he does not feel attraction, then you will not build a happy relationship. You can make as much effort as you like to please him, you can do the most incredible things, but if you are not in his heart, then you shouldn’t torture yourself. As you know, you can’t be nice by force. And here feelings play the main role. Listen to your heart, it will never deceive. Just thinking about him should make your heart respond with a storm of positive emotions. You must literally become one with him.

2. He is “dry” when communicating with you.. If he has no interest in you, then you are unlikely to have any interest in communicating with you. However, do not confuse lack of interest with temporary difficulties: perhaps your boyfriend is simply afraid to take the first step or thinks for a long time before answering you. Let's say after a quarrel there is no call or message from him. So, did he stop liking you? Or maybe he's just afraid? Lack of interest manifests itself over a long period of time. You need to see in general whether he has the time and opportunity to write, call, and how exactly he manages this opportunity or simply ignores it. Another indicator here is the fact that he is constantly trying to end your conversation, finding constant reasons to end it. And no matter how much you strive to maintain communication, you do not see his own initiative.

3. He talks to you the same way he talks to his friends.. It's actually quite easy to determine. If he always speaks to you in a casual tone, similar to how he interacts with his friends, then he is probably not your match. When a guy is interested, there is always at least a slight change in the way he conducts the conversation with you; a change that proves that communicating with you is pleasant for him. This could be a special voice, the use of words with diminutive suffixes, a special intonation - or anything, except monotony and indifference. The best thing you can do in this situation is to observe his behavior and his speech with other people. This will allow you to judge whether the way he acts with you is different from what you saw, and if so, how different.

4. He freely tells you about the girls he likes.. Another alarm bell may be the fact that a guy without hesitation tells you about past relationships, about girls whom he considers ideal, and so on. However, this should not be confused with when it was just slipped in to keep the conversation going (all guys do this from time to time, and it's really not a big deal) or you asked him to talk about the ending relationship. However, if you are talking to a guy and he has no problem talking about all the girls he loves or has loved, and all this happens with enviable regularity, then you can take this as a clear sign that your chosen one is not the one. who do you need.

5. Body language never lies.. If a guy avoids eye contact, sits far away from you, does not try to establish physical contact (hold your hand, support you on the steps), his conversation occurs without any gestures, or he keeps his distance from you, then you can regard all these as signs that he is not interested and does not want to have any relationship with you.

6. He doesn't want to find free time for meetings.. You rarely meet, he constantly has excuses to reschedule the meeting. And this happens more than once or twice. This began to happen systematically. You need to remember that someone who really wants to meet with you will do everything possible and impossible to make this meeting happen. And neither the time of day, nor distances, nor employment will matter to him. As you know, those who want are looking for an opportunity, those who don’t want are looking for a reason...

7. He doesn't just flirt with you.. As noted above, by a guy’s behavior with other people you can judge the importance of you in his life. Take a closer look at how he behaves in female society: whether he goes beyond what is permitted, what his speech and gestures are, whether he flirts, or tries to show himself in a more favorable light. Having discovered this, it’s worth thinking about. Of course, we can assume that he is just a friendly, social, outgoing guy. However, if he behaves the same way with other girls as he does with you, then he is not particularly interested in your company.

8. He hides his emotions and feelings.. If a guy feels something for you, he will certainly communicate his feelings sooner or later. And it's not even a matter of words. This will be visible from himself (actions, look, speech). If the guy isn't showing any emotion, the best thing you can do is give him some space and freedom. Just to make sure you don't waste your time on it. Let the initiative in the relationship pass completely into his hands. If you don’t see any significant changes, then you’re unlikely to see a continuation of this same relationship...

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Psychologists are convinced: there are certain patterns of behavior that indicate that your relationship has reached a dead end or was not serious to begin with. In addition, scientists identify individual phrases or language constructs that can destroy relationships or signal that your partner has stopped loving you.

website compiled a list of phrases that a person in love will never say to his soulmate.

1. “I don’t have to answer to you.”

Loving people do not take hostility to every request to tell us about something in more detail.

2. “It’s not my problem” or “It’s your problem”

Such phrases are an indicator that the break is only a matter of time. If a man is not bothered by your problems, even when you openly ask for his help, then he has probably cooled down on you.

A loving person will find the time and opportunity to help, even if it causes him some inconvenience.

3. “If something doesn’t suit you, find someone else”

With this phrase, a man is trying to manipulate you. He doesn't want to change and sincerely believes that you should come to terms with all his shortcomings. And if you don’t like something, good riddance.

A loving person in most cases is ready to compromise, is not so harsh in his statements and respects the opinion of his partner.

4. “I still don’t believe you.”

This phrase is often uttered by insecure or, conversely, despotic people. They demand your justifications even in situations where you, in general, are not to blame for anything. Most likely, in this way a person is simply looking for a reason for a quarrel or for separation.

Loving people usually listen and hear each other.

5. “Do as you please”

This phrase speaks of the indifference and detachment of a man. He doesn’t care how you are doing, what you will do in a difficult situation, how it will ultimately be resolved. In all matters that do not directly concern him, the man invites you to do as you want.

A loving person will show concern and help with the choice. He will not leave you at a crossroads even in a minor everyday problem. Although, perhaps, it’s not worth staking every little detail on him.

6. “You’re pushing yourself too hard.”

Men usually say this phrase when they are trying to convict them of something. And there really is a chance that you came up with nonsense and are now screwing yourself over.

You say: “What nonsense? He says he loves me!” But in this case, the enhancer “really” is usually used in situations where the partner has done something wrong and is trying to prove that he still loves you. This phrase can be used as an excuse, an explanation for your disgusting behavior.

If a person uses phrases from this list several times every day, and then declares that he still “really” loves you, he most likely does not.

The man is probably trying to manipulate your feelings.

If you don’t encounter the points from the article in relationships at all or very rarely, you have no reason to doubt the sincerity of the phrase “I love you.”

Sometimes we can hear such words from irritated, upset or offended partners. But if a man has feelings for you, he will try never to express them.

What phrases do you consider indicators that your partner has fallen out of love?

A man (and a woman too, let’s be honest) can say anything. But if he does not do anything for his “beloved” - alas, these are just words.

Not renounce loving“Do you love me” is an eternal question that women ask their chosen ones. They get the answer “yes, of course.”

And then they wonder - how could he? Not showing up home, drinking away your salary, cheating with your best friend, forgetting that it’s time to pick you and your baby up from the maternity hospital and raising your heavy fists against your beloved? If he didn’t love it, he could have – it’s simple. However, it also happens the other way around - romantic ladies sigh “he never spoke about love”, not noticing that their cozy nest from floor to ceiling was assembled by men’s hands. A man (and a woman too, let’s be honest) can say anything. But if he does not do anything for his “beloved” - alas, these are just words.

And what actions say that love has died and waiting “without leaving the door” has long been useless?

Ten signs that a man doesn't love you:

Especially for ladies who have doubts and questions. Young people know how to sing sweetly and build castles in the air, they can find themselves in difficult circumstances and literally fall into the abyss, but nevertheless, a loving man always values ​​his woman. And the one who does not love, accordingly, does not value. He will let you go home alone at midnight or at two in the morning for cigarettes and go to bed. He doesn’t care how many hot horsemen or greedy sharks are at your resort, what is the condition of the wiring in the apartment and whether your parachute is well built. And if something happens to you, he will not come to save you from all misfortunes (at least without much persuasion).

2. A man doesn't care if you're in pain. Whether you have an unpleasant procedure coming up, a hospital or a trip to the dentist, whether you were taken by ambulance with appendicitis or to an emergency room for a new cast - the most you can expect is “I’m sorry, dear.” If you ask too much, they can give you medicine or money. But he won’t worry.

3. A man is indifferent to your experiences. If your cat died or your mother got sick, he will be upset - that dinner was late, the date was cancelled, and you have an unpleasant expression on your face.

4. A man doesn't care about your problems. If they don’t waste it and take up time, of course. If you were fired from your job, the sink broke, the lock on the door got jammed, you forgot your suitcase on the train - “it’s your own fault.” At best, “poor thing.”

5. He will eat knowing that you are hungry. Just take it and eat it, piece by piece, without noticing that your mouth is watering and your fingers are trembling.

6. He can watch you cry. Don’t get angry, don’t feel sorry, don’t console, and don’t even yell “stop it right now!” - continue killing monsters on the computer, staring at football or cutting herring.

7. He won’t stand up for you – it doesn’t matter if your neighbor in a communal apartment, a teacher at school or a drunk plumber on the subway is yelling at you.

He will not cover you in front of your mother-in-law, boss or traffic cop. You are not the woman he wants to protect. 8. He won't offer you money, knowing that you don't have it.

Will not offer help, knowing that you need it. It will be serene to walk lightly when you are carrying heavy loads. 9. He doesn't call first. Doesn't write SMS or letters.

Doesn't come to pat you on the head or hug you unless you call. And he’s not interested in where you disappeared and where you stayed.

10. He is not jealous of you at all - not of men, not of work, not of children, not of pets, not of social networks and computer games.

For those men who doubt the feelings of their girlfriends. And for ladies who drag out hateful romances and hopeless marriages for years and decades out of habit, “for the sake of the children,” or out of a sense of duty. Women more often deceive themselves, mistaking nesting and maternal instincts for love. But if they are not there, then, alas, there is definitely no smell of love.

1. A woman doesn’t care where or with whom her man spends the night. She will never send a text message, call or ask the next morning “Where were you and who put lipstick on your shirt.” She doesn’t wait until dawn for the key to creak in the lock, doesn’t make scenes at the doorstep, and doesn’t ask questions to friends or the police. She doesn’t feign indifference or coldness—she just goes to bed. And sleeps.

2. A woman doesn’t care what a man looks like. Does he shower and shave often, does he have a clean shirt, intact socks, nice underpants and a decent umbrella. It’s not a fact that she will wash, mend and buy new things herself, but if a woman does not comment on a man’s appearance, she is indifferent to him.

3. She doesn’t care what, how or when he eats. There are good housewives, bad ones, and none at all; there are women, in principle, not made for the kitchen. But even the most mediocre cook at least occasionally wants to feed her man - it’s an instinct.

4. She doesn't nag him. He doesn’t grumble about scattered socks and a cap of toothpaste, doesn’t ask to shave his stubble, shake off the ashes in the ashtray and not fight with Petka. He doesn’t complain about career failures, a ruined weekend, or a wallet lost due to drunkenness. She doesn't care about his mistakes and bad habits.

5. She doesn't care about him. Doesn’t bring medicine when a man is sick, doesn’t sit by the bedside, doesn’t console, doesn’t go to the hospital and doesn’t experience the illness with him. He doesn’t prepare breakfast in the morning or heat up dinner, doesn’t iron his shirts, doesn’t tie his tie, doesn’t cover him with a blanket, wakes him up unnecessarily and doesn’t allow him to rest.

6. She doesn't want children. Not now, not later, not in the distant future. Despite the fact that she does not belong to childfree and is capable of childbearing. If the couple already has children, it does not matter to her that this particular man is their father.

7. She does not talk about her problems, does not complain, does not seek sympathy and protection. Women tend to be frank with close people; if she is silent, the man is no longer close to her.

8. She doesn't stop the man. It doesn’t matter what stupid adventure he started, whether he was going fishing, going on a drinking binge, going to a corporate party with a striptease or to Manezhnaya with fittings - she will blow a kiss after him and slam the doors.

9. She does not caress a man. Doesn’t try to kiss, cuddle, fall asleep next to him, call him a funny name, or show tenderness. Never steals pieces from his plate, never puts on his shirt or T-shirt, and never moves into his warm spot in bed.

10. She doesn't dress up for him. He doesn’t try to look more interesting, put on perfume, style his hair in a special way, or put on a new dress. And he doesn’t ask what she looks like and whether he likes her experiments with her appearance. She doesn't care what he thinks about it.

Women also know how to sing like nightingales, especially if they have a reason or theme for a song. But if they do not see in a man either a father to their children, or a provider and protector, or an object for care, and do not strive to be beautiful and desirable for their chosen ones, it is better to understand this in time. And come to terms with the fact that feelings did not grow in this Garden of Eden... Or try to revive the fragile trunk of a broken family apple tree, so that later the two of you can eat the sweet fruits of bitter love. published